My analysis of myself
Sunday, August 19, 2007
I guess it's a mixture of feelings now. Less time spent with hubby nowadays, so I tend to cling on to him for dear life everytime we meet up. Think I'm getting parasitic, which is not at all a pretty sight. I tend to throw tantrums in front of him too when things don't go according to my plans. Well.. selfish me and poor hubby. Muahahaha.
Getting tired of playing social games. Is there a job where I can talk as and when I would like to? Maybe I should change my tactics and not be so vocal about things. I also need to stop myself from being the nanny of the pupils. Energy levels are lowering. Being a cher is never easy. It is now then I realize how much trouble my teachers had gone through to prepare a lesson for our class. It isn't as easy as throwing work to students in the school I'm in now. Hmm.. things must be standardized, otherwise chaos would result. Luckily I have good mentors who guide me along the way. =) Cheers for them!
Bad news to me came when I realized I had to get an amplifier OUT OF MY OWN POCKET if I need to use one. I guess I really need to use one badly. Can't keep shouting to make sure everyone hears me. Must control my temper and not become a mad woman like a cher of mine. Hahs... =X Too bad these days cannot grab students and hit them... Oops.
Someone once said,:" Never become a popular cher. " I wonder why? Is it because a popular one does not manage to discipline his/her students? It's quite tough to discipline and educate at the same time with so many activities going on. My workload is like 1/3 that of the actual load and I can't seem to adapt well to this line of work yet. Always rushing..
The solution? I should really decrease the amount of leisure time and concentrate on my work. I know I can be a workaholic when I'm really into seeing results of my work. I must perservere! If I want to see results and lives transformed for good causes, then I need to sacrifice much time to concentrate on work.
Tears almost rolled out of my eyes on one day, a behaviour typical of me when I get darn pissed. Fortunately I was able to withhold them and not succumb to external forces. I need to let them hear my cause and also understand the work they are doing. I still feel that a preparatory course extending to a full 3 months may be sufficient to train cher-wannabes. Otherwise, without understanding the system and without much guidance (the 2 day course was too short!), one would feel lost and would thus be discouraged to take up this challenging job.
A student once calmly said, " Cher... You can't discipline us .. even the senior chers can't.. what can you do?"
I replied:" There's a word called "try" in my dictionary. I will try."
Then he went quiet. Hopefully, I would be able to guide these kids along the correct path in an authoritarian manner.
I'll show you respect if you show my respect. This is a simple rule. If you do things that do not earn my respect, how am I able to respect you? With that in mind, I hope to abstain myself from being over friendly to the kids. That my friend, is a challenge since you all know me so well. My face spells "leniency". =_=" Sigh.
